Look my eyes are dry

And so, farewell then Ernest Borgnine.

Always the watchword for "ugly bloke done good", Mr B was in loads of films over the years, mainly playing the "tough guy". Unsurprisingly he was also remarkably homophobic, speaking out against the award-winning gay movie Brokeback Mountain in 2005.

So why would I feature him? For one reason only - he married our "patron saint" here at Dolores Delargo Towers Miss Ethel Merman in 1964. It lasted 32 whole days.

In a marvellously bitchy and camp gesture, Miss Merman devoted a whole chapter of her memoir to the marriage - it consisted of one blank page!

"Christmas carols always brought tears to my eyes. I also cry at weddings. I should have cried at a couple of my own," she later said.

Miss Merman never married again...

Any excuse, really, to feature the original divine Miss M, here with a most appropriate number (from The Love Boat, of course - well, it is Tacky Music Monday after all!):

Ethel Merman - What I Did For Love (A Chorus Line)

Ethel Merman: a brief biography